Google Credited with Predicting and Averting Horrific Traffic Accident

Sunday, March 8, 2009
Staff Writer, Bradley Bowden

McKinney, TX – A very serious accident was prevented today on 75 Northbound in McKinney, Texas.  Authorities are crediting Google with yet another display of their incredible talent.  According to Google officials, their program Wisdom Attained Through Compiling History (W.A.T.C.H.) was able to send out multiple signals to several cars in the area, overriding the manual controls, and automatically re-routing the traffic into a non-accident producing pattern.

“We estimate that there were 7 lives saved today as a result of the W.A.T.C.H. program” stated the Google official.  “All total that’s 2,457 lives that have been saved since our program went online six months ago.” …

COULD THIS REALLY HAPPEN?

Have you ever just been minding your own business when all of the sudden a picture/event pops into your head and you wonder… where the heck did that come from?  Especially if it’s of some future type event, that you know hasn’t happened yet, and because of the bizarreness of the vision, it’s almost unbelievable.minority-report

Wait… are you saying that you have? or that you haven’t?  Well, either way, I’m sure you’ll enjoy this nearly science fiction type vision that popped into my head the other day.  When I saw it, it was very real. Let’s just say, it was sort of a mix between Minority Report and the Matrix.  It’s what prompted me to write the “future” headline and article above.

I was actually driving at the time when suddenly I was picturing a multi-car accident playing out in my mind… not such a big deal, I’ve had those before, but here is where the bizarre part comes in.  This accident, which was obviously some time in the future was being prevented and even reversed by something.

You see in my futuristic vision Google had become so powerful, so virtually connected to every aspect of our lives, that their computers were able to prevent this accident.  They were collecting data on everything from traffic conditions, types of cars on the road, who was on the road, who had insurance, how many accidents had taken place at that location in the past, how many accidents the drivers in the area had been in, their moods (via Twitter & Facebook and something called Plooter – I have no idea, but I’ve got dibs on the name), how much gas was in each car, who was falling asleep at the wheel (due to networked retina scans inside the vehicle), etc., etc. I thinmatrix-scene-bulletsk you get the point.

Now, Google was able to extract all of this information, drop it into a aggregator and instantly compare it to all historical data to determine that an accident was about to happen.  In my vision, which only lasted a half-second, the accident started in slow motion, but half way through, it reversed (very Matrix style as if I could have watched the event from any angle I wanted to – This would have been possible since, in the future, there will literally be cameras recording events from every angle imaginable, including the view from our own eyes.)

So, there I was, driving into a non-existent accident scene because the Google bots had caused one or more of the cars to slow down just enough to avoid the catalyst that started what could have been a horrific accident scene with tremendous loss of life.  Horray for Google they saved the day… or did they? This kind of gives new meaning to Google Earth.

You know the economy is bad when…

This is so funny… my wife Alison “Truthoughts” has a friend from Jr.High/Highschool, on Facebook, that has a great sense of humor.  He posted this hilarious pic on his Facebook account.  You can find Bryan Turner on Facebook by clicking his name.

recession effects

10 Signs You’ve Become a Twitter Whore!

twitter_logo

While building up my favorite Tweets list for the next installment of “The Funniest Tweets I’ve Seen on Twitter“, it just hit me that there are certain activities that are taking place on Twitter in the biggest “follower grab” in the history of the internet.  Reminiscent of the Oklamhoma land grab or the California Gold Rush, there seems to be a “mad dash” to grab as many Twitter followers as you can, as fast as you can.

If you haven’t gotten caught up in the excitement, I had better warn you that it is quite addicting.  As I created this list, funny how it came to me so easily… hmmm… I realized that I myself am guilty of a few of these tell tale signs.  So, sit back and enjoy the laugh and know that if you can associate with one or more of these, you are in good company!

Here are 10 sure-fire signs you’ve become a Twitter whore:

10.  Your Tweets have more than two hash tags: #HappyO9, #TCOT, #bedtimestories, #blacklabs that don’t seem to be related.

9.  You get a really nice DM repsonse back, but you have no clue what they are talking about, because you can’t link back to your original DM.

8.  You check Twitter Grader more than once a day.

7.  You get upset when less than 300 people have followed you… in just one day!

6.  You stay up later than you should, just to follow a “few” more Tweeters, oh and that one too, just one more, ah, now there’s a good one…wait, I see another.

5.  You unfollow people, just to follow them back so that your Twitter icon is catapulted to the beginning of their follower list, thereby giving you more exposure. Cha-ching!

4.  You’ve resigned yourself to Auto-follow with a spammy DM message!

3.  When someone following 300 people, or less, follows you there entire home page fills up with just your Tweets.

2.  You’ve given up going to people’s profiles before you follow them as long as they have a decent picture.

1.  You follow them even if they have a scary picture!

 

Thanks for stopping by, and by all means, if your not following me on Twitter yet, you can do so here: @OutsideMyBrain

BTW have you seen this funny video:  Twitter Whore with Lisa Nova

— YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO RETWEET THIS POST —

Can you think of any that I missed?  Leave yours in the comments!

Cell Phone Secrets Revealed…er, um Buried!

Now you really can take your secrets to the grave!

iPhone.jpg image by iPhone Lovers

According the this article, Bury Me With My Cell Phone it is a growing trend to be buried with your cell phone (also known to many as an iPhone) or other electronic gadget.

“It seems that everyone under 40 who dies takes their cell phone with them,” says Noelle Potvin, family service counselor for Hollywood Forever, a funeral home and cemetery in Hollywood, Calif. “It’s a trend with BlackBerrys, too. We even had one guy who was buried with his Game Boy.”

Well, I guess that’s one way of making sure that the data on your Blackberry or iPhone goes to the grave with you.  That’s the first thing I thought of when I read this article.  Especially for people who have sensitive data on their phones.

So, instead of the McCain-Palin campaign mishap of selling a Blackberry for $20 that had peronal information and emails still inside, that Blackberry could have gone to the grave with that person (or simply been erased, but where’s the fun in that?)

According to the “Bury Me With My Cell Phone” article, appearently some people’s family members are so used to the electronic gadget being with the deceased person, that it just doesn’t seem right for them to be without it.

“I’ve even heard of cases where people are being buried with their iPod. Or one guy who was prepared for his viewing with his Bluetooth (headset) in his ear.”

It’s kind of ironic given that fact that someone so attached to their cell phone, that they have to be buried with it, may be in the grave as a result of their cell phone use, as this article seems to suggest: Cell Phone=Brain Cancer?

Maybe some people just  want to make sure that they are connected in the afterlife in the land of unlimited Twitter followers and StumbleUpon friend connections.

What about you?  How connected are you to your electronic equipment?  According to a recent aritlce, a study, conducted by Harris Interactive and sponsored by Intel, found that 46 percent of women and 30 percent of men would prefer to do without sex for 2 weeks than to not be connected to the internet for two weeks.

So, what do you think about this new trend?  Let us know your thoughts below in the comment section!

The Funniest Tweets I’ve Seen on Twitter – So far!

twitter_logoAs some of you know, I recently started spending a lot more time on Twitter.  Twitter has really transformed itself over the past 2-3 months.  If you haven’t been on Twitter in a while, you should check it out.

HINT:  If you want more followers – FOLLOW MORE PEOPLE!

More on that here: It’s Not Your Daughter’s Twitter Anymore!

BTW:  If we are not already friends on StumbleUpon come join my network and I’ll help promote your website or blog.  And if you are on Twitter than follow me here.

Listed below are just some (hard to catch them all without remaining on Twitter 24/7) of the funny Tweets that I have seen over the past couple of weeks.  If you know of others, please leave them in the comments section and I will add them to the list, with a link to your Twitter account or website as my thanks for your contribution.

BTW:  You should follow the people listed below here… they’re funny!That's Funny

@shmoozanne74: “i’m so tired we may end up eating Captain Crunch stuffing and mashed bananas” – hey, don’t knock the Cap’n.

@rinkjustice I refuse to follow anyone with a Twitter name like “gkjg,nlhjhg”. Jus’ sayin.

@JackBastide How do you keep a Tweeter in suspense? … I’ll tell you tomorrow

@MarkClayson Darn it! Used “charm” twice.

@MarkClayson Night’s curtain falls and charms my wavering consciousness. ‘Tis time to greet the charm of dreams. Goodnight my friends.

@JackBastide There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.

@eduinnovation I have glitter on my hands and on my face from Christmas ornaments. How do the elves and Santa handle this. Must have some Santa Shop secret

@Mobasoft I could collect 500 gallons of rainwater in a 1/2 inch rain. Enough to flush the toilet 147 times. But I live in a “Modern House” – pfffft.

@JackBastide I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

@NatalieGrant: Twittering is dangerous. I was reading my tweets and wasn’t watching where I was walking & ran into a pole.

@BrianCarter @lifeofjenn lol some people might tell you Twitter is a second chance to be “cool in school”. Love Ben Folds.

(Zebra Photo Courtesy of: LaDonna_62 )

FROM THE COMMENTS SECTION: (Thank you for your contribution)

Jaffer writes:
I usually favourite hilarious and memorable Tweets by my own friends. Here are a few gems:
@katize: hahahaha!! We can hear the neighbors having sex…damn!! they are so loud!!

@ithinkdancan: @TonyBerkman your fly is down

@maniar Feeling Stupid – Bought a Sara Lee Pumpkin Pie. Thought it was ready to eat. Didn’t read instructions. Sunk teeth right into dough ! P

@jugglingfrogs Gretta (4) stubbed her toe & kissed it herself.Then kissed it again & again. “I’m kissing my toe lots of times so it won’t hurt next time.”

@goldiekatsu Just read “Oneal Pkwy” as “Oatmeal Pkwy”. Still giggling.

@offendedblogger Dreamed I was doing community service, picking up trash on a mountainside in Yellowstone last night, wtf sort of dream is that?!

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Truthoughts writes:

Here’s one:

@rickosborne Those who collect followers by the yard and follow by the inch should B kicked by the foot. : )

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