From time to time my beautiful wife says the most, bizarre, witty, hilarious things. In order to help myself to remember them, and give you a good laugh in the meantime, I am writing them down here. This will be an ongoing work, so be sure to bookmark this page so you can return often for a good laugh, or subscribe to my Comments RSS and I will let you know when I have updated the page.
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On getting too much sun… “It’s enough to give you Goldie Hawn lips (when she was in First Wives Club)” – (Truthoughts)
On shaving her legs… “You know it’s bad when the fat in your legs guides the razor more than your hand does” – (Truthoughts) As if… look at her picture, not an ounce of fat on her, that’s what made it sound so funny to me!
On using Twitter… “Wit is the key to twit” – (Truthoughts)
On being domestic… “I can fake being domestic at some things, but ironing is not one of them.“ – (Truthoughts)
On stale food at a Mexican restaurant… “The burrito I had, was so hard, it was practically a taco.“ – (Truthoughts)
On letting ourselves go at times… “We love each other even when we think we’re ugly.“ – (Truthoughts)
On the snug fitting sweats I had on… “My husband’s butt is the finest I’ve ever seen.“ – (Truthoughts) Good thing, because her last quip had me a little troubled. lol.
On it being a hot and humid, Texas night… “I’m so hot, I’m sticking to the air.“ – (Truthoughts)
On concerns that Alaskan Governor Palin is not qualified for the VP position… “Why not, it’s not like the Vice President does anything anyway besides shoot people in the face.“ – (Truthoughts)
On having a female moment… “I dont like the way the mirror is looking at me lately, its been giving me dirty looks.” – (Truthoughts)
On the Phishing scam that circulated throughout Twitter January 3rd, 2009… “‘Phishing for Tweets’ has a whole new meaning now.” – (Truthoughts)
On gaining a little weight… “‘What? I’m too busy to be fat.” Meaning she doesn’t have the time to correct the situation. (Truthoughts)
Wife-isms has been updated! August 31, 2008
Wife-isms has been updated! September 02, 2008
I like the taco and VP comments the best. This is a great collection. Good for you for tracking AND sharing them. Thanks.
@Terry Bean: Thanks for the comment. Yes, she is quite the witty one. lol. I’m glad you enjoyed them
Wife-isms has been updated! January 03, 2009
Outside –
These are classic. Thanks for sharing them.
– Daniel
These are funny
@rafaelmarquez
@Daniel Brenton @Rafael – Thanks guys!
Wife-isms has been updated! March 09, 2009