Humor: Adventures in Cat Land – Part 2

Have you ever tried to train a cat?  Impossible?  Maybe, but we seemed to have succeedKody relaxing in the chair in a couple of areas.   My wife (Truthoughts) and I have a problem child for a cat.  His name is Kody.  Here you see him sitting so innocently in the big chair.  He is so cuddly and adorable and loves sleeping on our laps.  But, don’t let him fool you.  He terrorizes our other cat Kiera (black and white, tuxedo cat on the side bar – Flickr pics).  Fortunately not all of the time, but every once in a while, he corners her and a passionate cat fight ensues.

We are the kind of parents who will not tolerate this kind of behavior, so we punish him by scolding him and placing him in the Pet Taxi (cat carrier) for a time out.   Sometimes he just gets too close to her and they start hissing at each other.   Often Kiera will get so spooked that she will head up stairs for safety under the guest bed.

Kody serving a \However, her turning and running just excites Kody all the more and a mad dash ensues with hissing and panting and claws ripping through the carpet that only cat owners know the sound of.

Whenever he does this, I catch him and place him in solitary confinement in what I explain to Kody as “CAGE!”.  I repeatedly scold him with the word “CAGE” – “CAGE, KODY, CAGE”.  Then I lock him in for his, what-has-become-a, routine timeout.

Here is the part that just cracks my wife and I up.  We have administered this punishment with Kody for so long now that all I have to do is yell, “CAGE” and Kody now knows what this means, so he will walk over and put himself in the cage.  It makes it hard to punish him when he’s being so cute, protesting with apologies the entire way.   

Now, for the ultimate in funny.  The other day, Kody walked over to his daughter Molly (who is now old enough to go into heat) and started to bite her neck and stand on top of her (don’t worry, we got him fixed, so there will be no more babies for this stud).  We never said a word to him, because we understand in the animal kingdom, incest, doesn’t seem to be a social oddity like it is with humans.  However, he must have felt guilty about it or something, because without any prompting on our part at all, he got off of her and walked over and put himself in the cage, protesting the whole way.  It sort of makes you wonder… “what was he thinking?”  I’m not sure, but it certainly gave us a good laugh! 

For another hilarious story on training cats, see this post of mine:

You Can Tune a Piano, But You Can’t Tuna Cat…or Can You?  

Thanks for coming by, be sure to read the comments for the experiences of other readers.

Funny Cat Pic – Bertoli Ad

Do you think I could get Bertoli to pay me for this?

Give me some of that Bertolit

Meagan playing with the TV while watching a Bertoli ad.  Hillarious cat pic!  It just makes you want to Stumble it doesn’t it?  Oh my, she’s adorable.  Thanks for coming by!

Humor: Adventures in Cat Land

Our new cat MieshkaI don’t know if I mentioned this or not, but we have a few cats… and now you can add one more to the mix.  Yesterday, my wife (Truthoughts) and I had just come home from some afternoon errands (woo-hoo) when we discovered the cutest little cat, almost a kitten, peeking out from behind the shrubs in our front yard. 

Well, it doesn’t take much to melt our hearts, but honestly, isn’t she a beautiful kitty?  She immediately came over and started the traditional figure-eight between our legs.  How someone could not love cats just baffles me, but needless to say, we both fell in love with her immediately… but wait?!? Hold on a minute… who’s cat is this?She was so hungry

Time for a reality check.  You can’t just take a cat in just because it wandered up to your door, right?  So, I suggested to my wife that she get some food and water to see if the kitty-cat was interested.  Well, no sooner then she brought out the little food bowl, little miss, what’s-your-name-kitty just dove right in and started chowing down the food like Tom Hanks upon catching his first fish in Cast Away.

Cats thatShe kept eating till it was gone. are well taken care of just aren’t that hungry.  They may take a nibble but they certainly don’t act like their in some intramural, university food eating contest.  This poor cat was starving.  But, still, I cautioned that maybe she was just stopping by, that we should give it some time and see if she might just mosey along back to her own home.

Four hours later, we went to the front door and opened it to see our new friend sprawled out on the porch as if she owned the place.  This is typical cat behavior as cats know,  better than humans, that they run the household.  Its because they know they can get their humans to do just about anything for them with the right look that says, “Don’t you just want to cuddle me?”  If that doesn’t work, they usually try the “I’m-going-to-flop-myself-right-down-on-top-of-whatever-you-are-working-on-because-I-want-attention-now.” approach.How cute is she?

So there she is, attached to our house as if its her refuge, her place to call home, and it only took hanging around for four hours to accomplish the task. Well, ok, IF we are going to keep her, we are going to have to give her a bath and get some flea powder because that’s one circus we don’t want coming to town.

Oh my, if you could have seen the look of terror in her eyes the moment she got the slightest drop of water on her.  I wasn’t sure if she was going to climb right up my arm and leave the type of tracks that only a cat could be proud of or grab a hold of my pant with a death grip that even the jaws of life couldn’t free.

She finally settled on hugging the faucet for dear life as I soaked her fur, causing it to cling to her petite little body like Seran wrap around Sunday’s potluck leftovers.  When we got her dried off somewhat, suddenly everything was back to normal and she started purring and wanting more attention.  I was quite relieved as I was worried that this being her introduction into our house, she was going to have some serious sStill eating!econd thoughts about wanting to call this home.

Currently she’s upstairs in the guest bath so that other cats can warm up to her and get to know her underneath the door before we allow her to roam amongst them.  So, with the addition of one more cat, that brings the total to, well, one more than we had.  🙂

If you enjoyed this story, you might like to read my other humorous story about how I was able to train our cats, which is certainly a feat in itself:

You Can Tune a Piano, But You Can’t Tuna Cat, Or Can You?

Here’s another little treat for your enjoyment from my friend known as “ThriftShopRomantic”:

The Insidious Submissive Fluffy Belly Enticement Snare- or- Pavlov’s Human

Have a wonderful day!  You’re more than welcome to stumble upon the rest of my blog. You shall certainly enjoy your time here… I guarantee it, or your money back!

 

 

 

 

7 Quick Tips for Branding Yourself Through Social Networking

Stand Out in the CrowdSimple things you can do to make a lasting, memorable impression of yourself on others… First off, I would like to thank BlogCatalog for giving me the opportuntiy to be their guest poster on their very own BlogCatalog Blog.

On their blog, I wrote and article on “7 Quick Tips for Branding Yourself Through Social Networking.  Even if you only pick up one new idea, it would be well worth it.  Click here to read the article.

Here are just some of the comments, on the article, that I have received so far:

Picture Source:

Robert Stevenson (Rob’s Megaphone):  “Friend, Your powers of observation are impressive, but your willingness to share and support others are even more inspiring. You have a wonderful way with words. I learned a lot from your post, today. See you on the threads.”

Melissa (Newward) “Well said! Great tips! It is all about branding!”

Jeanne (Jeanne-Bloglist) “Awesome post. Tip #3 was particularly useful to me…”

Praning5254 (Praning’s Shoutout):  “This is a very helpful post. I’m glad that I made the right decision to change my avatar from my computer-sketched face to these handcuffed hands (which is very relevant to my profession and relevant to my personal issues).”

Daisy (Smiling with Daisy): “Thanks for all the great advice. Very interesting article!”

Corey (Diligent Design): “Super useful post, nice job. It was extremely informative!”

searchingwithin (Open Your Heart to the Love): “Once again you have written a great post. I will be putting your tips to good use.”

RainforestRobin (Naked in Eden):  “WOW! WOW! WOW! I know I sound like a barking dog, but this article is EXCELLENT! I can’t even take it all in in one sitting. I am going to have bookmark it and keep coming back. I am impressed with the amount of info here. Just amazing what you have compiled and what you KNOW! Two seconds in your brain would still be 500% more than anything I know about all this. Great job and thank you so much.!”

 

Enjoy the article… I hope you get a lot out of it!  BTW, if you came here looking for humor, there’s plenty of it here , just look around.  I just thought that you wouldn’t mind getting the most out of your blogging experience by reading this article.

Sincerely,

OutsideMyBrain

P.S. If you are not a member of BlogCatalog yet, you really need to come on over and join the party!

Humor: New “Super-Earths” Discovered

How much would you weigh?From this article: Astronomers find ‘super-Earths’

RESEARCHERS today said they discovered a batch of three “super-Earths” orbiting a nearby star, and two other solar systems with small planets as well.

They said their findings, presented at a conference in France, suggest that Earth-like planets may be very common.

Source of Picture:

…The trio of planets orbit a star slightly less massive than our Sun, 42 light-years away towards the southern Doradus and Pictor constellations.

A light-year is the distance light can travel in one year at a speed of 300,000km per second – or about 9.5 trillion kilometres.    

The planets are bigger than Earth – one is 4.2 times the mass, one is 6.7 times and the third is 9.4 times.

So, if man were to figure out how to travel at the speed of light, it would still take 42 years to get there, which would mean that a host of newborns would need to be rocketed into space hoping that a significant portion of them survived the trip. Can you imagine growing up not knowing anything other than life on a spaceship? You would be taught by your predecessors that your job, upon arrival at this new “earth”, is to build a spaceport landing station so that others could follow and harvest the oil off of this planet to feed the oil monster back on “Earth 1.0”. Yikes… (Is there Oil? is the caption under the picture on the aritlce site)

Of course, they would also have to be on some sort of massive workout system as the gravity on the new earths discovered would be anywhere from 4.2 to almost 10 times that of the gravity on “Earth 1.0”.

The following clip is taken from: Your Weight on Other Worlds

As stated above, your weight is a measure of the pull of gravity between you and the body you are standing on. This force of gravity depends on a few things. First, it depends on your mass and the mass of the planet you are standing on. If you double your mass, gravity pulls on you twice as hard. If the planet you are standing on is twice as massive, gravity also pulls on you twice as hard.

So, it got me thinking… how much do we weigh on other planets? To figure it out, just multiply your weight by the following numbers:

mars .379
uranus .903
mercury .378
jupiter 2.529
neptune 1.096
venus .905
saturn 1.066
pluto .069

Or, you can go here, and it will calculate it for you automatically. So based on that… What planet would you like to live on? I personally like Uranus. Gee… that doesn’t sound very good when I read it out loud.

Humor: Prices are dropping dramatically

“Here’s your sign”:  I saw this hillarious price marker the other day at a lumber store:

New Lower Price:

Stupid Sign

Who are they trying to kid?  It’s no wonder our money isn’t going as far as it used to.

Since you’re here, you should check out some of my other humorous stories… you’ll enjoy it, or your money back.

When Real Life (RL) Becomes the Distraction!

Sun setting behind our neighbors pergulaAhhhhhhhhh…. somebody stop me!!!!

As the sun starts to set behind me, the magnificent colors representing a beautiful “wish you were here” postcard, start to dance across the early summer sky.  The problem is… I’m too busy trying to figure out this whole blogging thing to even notice. 

Do you ever feel this way?  Speaking to my fellow bloggers, authors or anyone else so wrapped up in what they are working on that trips to the grocery store to fill the empty cabinets become a nuisance, a mere distraction.  The whole time I’m out milling around trying to find the right kind of dressing, the perfect head of lettuce and the best looking frozen dinner entree, I can’t seem to think about anything else but, how much time I’m losing online. 

Between choosing the right blog theme, arranging the layout of widgets, searching for the best widget, listing my blog with blog directories, registering with the best social networks, connecting with new friends, responding to comments, etc., etc. ad nauseum, not to mention joining in multiple discussions at the best place on the net for bloggers BlogCatalog, it feels like I’m never “caught up” enough to just relax. 

Oh yeah, and then there’s content.   In order to entertain, move, inspire my readers (you, and by the way, thanks for stopping by) I must continually come up with quality, original content or risk being tagged a <something significant goes here, but I haven’t had time to research this one yet>.

So, when will the merry-go-round ever stop?  It’s only been 4 weeks, since I started blogging, and I can already see my priorities have completely shifted.  The once, normally pristine backyard, has become somewhat of an overgrown jungle.   Ah, yes, I shall go and mow as soon as I’m done with this post (seems like I said that two days ago. hmm… but today will be the day!)

I sometimes wonder where the time goes.  I log on to check my email box, and suddenly there’s this time warp…

(Let’s Do The Time Warp Again!)
 
and 2 hours have passed by and I still haven’t cleaned out my inbox.   Oh, but don’t get me wrong, I love comments.  I spend the majority of my time responding to comments.  It’s what drives me, keeps me going and makes it all worth it.  I consider it an honor that you are reading my blog and I am flattered if you want to take the time to say something to me in my comments.  And, yes, look around, I publish my negative comments too.

Well, I’m off to tackle the cat’s litter boxes.  Oh, wait, I haven’t checked my Feedburner stats yet. I’ll clean their litter boxes right after I check my stats. I might as well, its way too dark to mow the lawn now anyway.