10 Signs You’ve Become a Twitter Whore!

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While building up my favorite Tweets list for the next installment of “The Funniest Tweets I’ve Seen on Twitter“, it just hit me that there are certain activities that are taking place on Twitter in the biggest “follower grab” in the history of the internet.  Reminiscent of the Oklamhoma land grab or the California Gold Rush, there seems to be a “mad dash” to grab as many Twitter followers as you can, as fast as you can.

If you haven’t gotten caught up in the excitement, I had better warn you that it is quite addicting.  As I created this list, funny how it came to me so easily… hmmm… I realized that I myself am guilty of a few of these tell tale signs.  So, sit back and enjoy the laugh and know that if you can associate with one or more of these, you are in good company!

Here are 10 sure-fire signs you’ve become a Twitter whore:

10.  Your Tweets have more than two hash tags: #HappyO9, #TCOT, #bedtimestories, #blacklabs that don’t seem to be related.

9.  You get a really nice DM repsonse back, but you have no clue what they are talking about, because you can’t link back to your original DM.

8.  You check Twitter Grader more than once a day.

7.  You get upset when less than 300 people have followed you… in just one day!

6.  You stay up later than you should, just to follow a “few” more Tweeters, oh and that one too, just one more, ah, now there’s a good one…wait, I see another.

5.  You unfollow people, just to follow them back so that your Twitter icon is catapulted to the beginning of their follower list, thereby giving you more exposure. Cha-ching!

4.  You’ve resigned yourself to Auto-follow with a spammy DM message!

3.  When someone following 300 people, or less, follows you there entire home page fills up with just your Tweets.

2.  You’ve given up going to people’s profiles before you follow them as long as they have a decent picture.

1.  You follow them even if they have a scary picture!

 

Thanks for stopping by, and by all means, if your not following me on Twitter yet, you can do so here: @OutsideMyBrain

BTW have you seen this funny video:  Twitter Whore with Lisa Nova

— YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO RETWEET THIS POST —

Can you think of any that I missed?  Leave yours in the comments!

The Funniest Tweets I’ve Seen on Twitter – So far!

twitter_logoAs some of you know, I recently started spending a lot more time on Twitter.  Twitter has really transformed itself over the past 2-3 months.  If you haven’t been on Twitter in a while, you should check it out.

HINT:  If you want more followers – FOLLOW MORE PEOPLE!

More on that here: It’s Not Your Daughter’s Twitter Anymore!

BTW:  If we are not already friends on StumbleUpon come join my network and I’ll help promote your website or blog.  And if you are on Twitter than follow me here.

Listed below are just some (hard to catch them all without remaining on Twitter 24/7) of the funny Tweets that I have seen over the past couple of weeks.  If you know of others, please leave them in the comments section and I will add them to the list, with a link to your Twitter account or website as my thanks for your contribution.

BTW:  You should follow the people listed below here… they’re funny!That's Funny

@shmoozanne74: “i’m so tired we may end up eating Captain Crunch stuffing and mashed bananas” – hey, don’t knock the Cap’n.

@rinkjustice I refuse to follow anyone with a Twitter name like “gkjg,nlhjhg”. Jus’ sayin.

@JackBastide How do you keep a Tweeter in suspense? … I’ll tell you tomorrow

@MarkClayson Darn it! Used “charm” twice.

@MarkClayson Night’s curtain falls and charms my wavering consciousness. ‘Tis time to greet the charm of dreams. Goodnight my friends.

@JackBastide There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.

@eduinnovation I have glitter on my hands and on my face from Christmas ornaments. How do the elves and Santa handle this. Must have some Santa Shop secret

@Mobasoft I could collect 500 gallons of rainwater in a 1/2 inch rain. Enough to flush the toilet 147 times. But I live in a “Modern House” – pfffft.

@JackBastide I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

@NatalieGrant: Twittering is dangerous. I was reading my tweets and wasn’t watching where I was walking & ran into a pole.

@BrianCarter @lifeofjenn lol some people might tell you Twitter is a second chance to be “cool in school”. Love Ben Folds.

(Zebra Photo Courtesy of: LaDonna_62 )

FROM THE COMMENTS SECTION: (Thank you for your contribution)

Jaffer writes:
I usually favourite hilarious and memorable Tweets by my own friends. Here are a few gems:
@katize: hahahaha!! We can hear the neighbors having sex…damn!! they are so loud!!

@ithinkdancan: @TonyBerkman your fly is down

@maniar Feeling Stupid – Bought a Sara Lee Pumpkin Pie. Thought it was ready to eat. Didn’t read instructions. Sunk teeth right into dough ! P

@jugglingfrogs Gretta (4) stubbed her toe & kissed it herself.Then kissed it again & again. “I’m kissing my toe lots of times so it won’t hurt next time.”

@goldiekatsu Just read “Oneal Pkwy” as “Oatmeal Pkwy”. Still giggling.

@offendedblogger Dreamed I was doing community service, picking up trash on a mountainside in Yellowstone last night, wtf sort of dream is that?!

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Truthoughts writes:

Here’s one:

@rickosborne Those who collect followers by the yard and follow by the inch should B kicked by the foot. : )

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Barack Osama? – Ooops! Was it an honest mistake?

Barack Osama?

Barack Osama?

 
According to CNN’s Political Ticker Blog, this Rensselaer County (near Albany, NY) ballot was accidentally printed with Barack Obama’s name mispelled.  Hmmm… What do you think?  Was it an honest mistake?  Was it a freudian slip? Depending on your view of things, this could be filed under extremely funny or extremely disturbing.  Let me know what you think about it in the comment section. 
 

7 Quick Tips for Branding Yourself Through Social Networking

Stand Out in the CrowdSimple things you can do to make a lasting, memorable impression of yourself on others… First off, I would like to thank BlogCatalog for giving me the opportuntiy to be their guest poster on their very own BlogCatalog Blog.

On their blog, I wrote and article on “7 Quick Tips for Branding Yourself Through Social Networking.  Even if you only pick up one new idea, it would be well worth it.  Click here to read the article.

Here are just some of the comments, on the article, that I have received so far:

Picture Source:

Robert Stevenson (Rob’s Megaphone):  “Friend, Your powers of observation are impressive, but your willingness to share and support others are even more inspiring. You have a wonderful way with words. I learned a lot from your post, today. See you on the threads.”

Melissa (Newward) “Well said! Great tips! It is all about branding!”

Jeanne (Jeanne-Bloglist) “Awesome post. Tip #3 was particularly useful to me…”

Praning5254 (Praning’s Shoutout):  “This is a very helpful post. I’m glad that I made the right decision to change my avatar from my computer-sketched face to these handcuffed hands (which is very relevant to my profession and relevant to my personal issues).”

Daisy (Smiling with Daisy): “Thanks for all the great advice. Very interesting article!”

Corey (Diligent Design): “Super useful post, nice job. It was extremely informative!”

searchingwithin (Open Your Heart to the Love): “Once again you have written a great post. I will be putting your tips to good use.”

RainforestRobin (Naked in Eden):  “WOW! WOW! WOW! I know I sound like a barking dog, but this article is EXCELLENT! I can’t even take it all in in one sitting. I am going to have bookmark it and keep coming back. I am impressed with the amount of info here. Just amazing what you have compiled and what you KNOW! Two seconds in your brain would still be 500% more than anything I know about all this. Great job and thank you so much.!”

 

Enjoy the article… I hope you get a lot out of it!  BTW, if you came here looking for humor, there’s plenty of it here , just look around.  I just thought that you wouldn’t mind getting the most out of your blogging experience by reading this article.

Sincerely,

OutsideMyBrain

P.S. If you are not a member of BlogCatalog yet, you really need to come on over and join the party!

When Real Life (RL) Becomes the Distraction!

Sun setting behind our neighbors pergulaAhhhhhhhhh…. somebody stop me!!!!

As the sun starts to set behind me, the magnificent colors representing a beautiful “wish you were here” postcard, start to dance across the early summer sky.  The problem is… I’m too busy trying to figure out this whole blogging thing to even notice. 

Do you ever feel this way?  Speaking to my fellow bloggers, authors or anyone else so wrapped up in what they are working on that trips to the grocery store to fill the empty cabinets become a nuisance, a mere distraction.  The whole time I’m out milling around trying to find the right kind of dressing, the perfect head of lettuce and the best looking frozen dinner entree, I can’t seem to think about anything else but, how much time I’m losing online. 

Between choosing the right blog theme, arranging the layout of widgets, searching for the best widget, listing my blog with blog directories, registering with the best social networks, connecting with new friends, responding to comments, etc., etc. ad nauseum, not to mention joining in multiple discussions at the best place on the net for bloggers BlogCatalog, it feels like I’m never “caught up” enough to just relax. 

Oh yeah, and then there’s content.   In order to entertain, move, inspire my readers (you, and by the way, thanks for stopping by) I must continually come up with quality, original content or risk being tagged a <something significant goes here, but I haven’t had time to research this one yet>.

So, when will the merry-go-round ever stop?  It’s only been 4 weeks, since I started blogging, and I can already see my priorities have completely shifted.  The once, normally pristine backyard, has become somewhat of an overgrown jungle.   Ah, yes, I shall go and mow as soon as I’m done with this post (seems like I said that two days ago. hmm… but today will be the day!)

I sometimes wonder where the time goes.  I log on to check my email box, and suddenly there’s this time warp…

(Let’s Do The Time Warp Again!)
 
and 2 hours have passed by and I still haven’t cleaned out my inbox.   Oh, but don’t get me wrong, I love comments.  I spend the majority of my time responding to comments.  It’s what drives me, keeps me going and makes it all worth it.  I consider it an honor that you are reading my blog and I am flattered if you want to take the time to say something to me in my comments.  And, yes, look around, I publish my negative comments too.

Well, I’m off to tackle the cat’s litter boxes.  Oh, wait, I haven’t checked my Feedburner stats yet. I’ll clean their litter boxes right after I check my stats. I might as well, its way too dark to mow the lawn now anyway.