Google Credited with Predicting and Averting Horrific Traffic Accident

Sunday, March 8, 2009
Staff Writer, Bradley Bowden

McKinney, TX – A very serious accident was prevented today on 75 Northbound in McKinney, Texas.  Authorities are crediting Google with yet another display of their incredible talent.  According to Google officials, their program Wisdom Attained Through Compiling History (W.A.T.C.H.) was able to send out multiple signals to several cars in the area, overriding the manual controls, and automatically re-routing the traffic into a non-accident producing pattern.

“We estimate that there were 7 lives saved today as a result of the W.A.T.C.H. program” stated the Google official.  “All total that’s 2,457 lives that have been saved since our program went online six months ago.” …

COULD THIS REALLY HAPPEN?

Have you ever just been minding your own business when all of the sudden a picture/event pops into your head and you wonder… where the heck did that come from?  Especially if it’s of some future type event, that you know hasn’t happened yet, and because of the bizarreness of the vision, it’s almost unbelievable.minority-report

Wait… are you saying that you have? or that you haven’t?  Well, either way, I’m sure you’ll enjoy this nearly science fiction type vision that popped into my head the other day.  When I saw it, it was very real. Let’s just say, it was sort of a mix between Minority Report and the Matrix.  It’s what prompted me to write the “future” headline and article above.

I was actually driving at the time when suddenly I was picturing a multi-car accident playing out in my mind… not such a big deal, I’ve had those before, but here is where the bizarre part comes in.  This accident, which was obviously some time in the future was being prevented and even reversed by something.

You see in my futuristic vision Google had become so powerful, so virtually connected to every aspect of our lives, that their computers were able to prevent this accident.  They were collecting data on everything from traffic conditions, types of cars on the road, who was on the road, who had insurance, how many accidents had taken place at that location in the past, how many accidents the drivers in the area had been in, their moods (via Twitter & Facebook and something called Plooter – I have no idea, but I’ve got dibs on the name), how much gas was in each car, who was falling asleep at the wheel (due to networked retina scans inside the vehicle), etc., etc. I thinmatrix-scene-bulletsk you get the point.

Now, Google was able to extract all of this information, drop it into a aggregator and instantly compare it to all historical data to determine that an accident was about to happen.  In my vision, which only lasted a half-second, the accident started in slow motion, but half way through, it reversed (very Matrix style as if I could have watched the event from any angle I wanted to – This would have been possible since, in the future, there will literally be cameras recording events from every angle imaginable, including the view from our own eyes.)

So, there I was, driving into a non-existent accident scene because the Google bots had caused one or more of the cars to slow down just enough to avoid the catalyst that started what could have been a horrific accident scene with tremendous loss of life.  Horray for Google they saved the day… or did they? This kind of gives new meaning to Google Earth.

The Funniest Tweets I’ve Seen on Twitter – So far!

twitter_logoAs some of you know, I recently started spending a lot more time on Twitter.  Twitter has really transformed itself over the past 2-3 months.  If you haven’t been on Twitter in a while, you should check it out.

HINT:  If you want more followers – FOLLOW MORE PEOPLE!

More on that here: It’s Not Your Daughter’s Twitter Anymore!

BTW:  If we are not already friends on StumbleUpon come join my network and I’ll help promote your website or blog.  And if you are on Twitter than follow me here.

Listed below are just some (hard to catch them all without remaining on Twitter 24/7) of the funny Tweets that I have seen over the past couple of weeks.  If you know of others, please leave them in the comments section and I will add them to the list, with a link to your Twitter account or website as my thanks for your contribution.

BTW:  You should follow the people listed below here… they’re funny!That's Funny

@shmoozanne74: “i’m so tired we may end up eating Captain Crunch stuffing and mashed bananas” – hey, don’t knock the Cap’n.

@rinkjustice I refuse to follow anyone with a Twitter name like “gkjg,nlhjhg”. Jus’ sayin.

@JackBastide How do you keep a Tweeter in suspense? … I’ll tell you tomorrow

@MarkClayson Darn it! Used “charm” twice.

@MarkClayson Night’s curtain falls and charms my wavering consciousness. ‘Tis time to greet the charm of dreams. Goodnight my friends.

@JackBastide There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.

@eduinnovation I have glitter on my hands and on my face from Christmas ornaments. How do the elves and Santa handle this. Must have some Santa Shop secret

@Mobasoft I could collect 500 gallons of rainwater in a 1/2 inch rain. Enough to flush the toilet 147 times. But I live in a “Modern House” – pfffft.

@JackBastide I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

@NatalieGrant: Twittering is dangerous. I was reading my tweets and wasn’t watching where I was walking & ran into a pole.

@BrianCarter @lifeofjenn lol some people might tell you Twitter is a second chance to be “cool in school”. Love Ben Folds.

(Zebra Photo Courtesy of: LaDonna_62 )

FROM THE COMMENTS SECTION: (Thank you for your contribution)

Jaffer writes:
I usually favourite hilarious and memorable Tweets by my own friends. Here are a few gems:
@katize: hahahaha!! We can hear the neighbors having sex…damn!! they are so loud!!

@ithinkdancan: @TonyBerkman your fly is down

@maniar Feeling Stupid – Bought a Sara Lee Pumpkin Pie. Thought it was ready to eat. Didn’t read instructions. Sunk teeth right into dough ! P

@jugglingfrogs Gretta (4) stubbed her toe & kissed it herself.Then kissed it again & again. “I’m kissing my toe lots of times so it won’t hurt next time.”

@goldiekatsu Just read “Oneal Pkwy” as “Oatmeal Pkwy”. Still giggling.

@offendedblogger Dreamed I was doing community service, picking up trash on a mountainside in Yellowstone last night, wtf sort of dream is that?!

_____________________________

Truthoughts writes:

Here’s one:

@rickosborne Those who collect followers by the yard and follow by the inch should B kicked by the foot. : )

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Related Posts:

Barack Osama? – Ooops! Was it an honest mistake?

Barack Osama?

Barack Osama?

 
According to CNN’s Political Ticker Blog, this Rensselaer County (near Albany, NY) ballot was accidentally printed with Barack Obama’s name mispelled.  Hmmm… What do you think?  Was it an honest mistake?  Was it a freudian slip? Depending on your view of things, this could be filed under extremely funny or extremely disturbing.  Let me know what you think about it in the comment section. 
 

Paper Beats Rock…Or… Does It?

 

I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get
how a rock can beat scissors, but there’s absolutely
no way, paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to
magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile?
Why, the heck, can’t paper do this to people? Why
aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper
constantly suffocating students as they take notes in
class? I’ll tell you why! Because paper can’t beat
anybody. A rock would tear that stuff up in 2
seconds. When I play rock, paper, scissors, I always
choose rock. Then, when somebody claims to have
beaten me with their paper, I can punch them in the
face with my already clenched fist and say, oops,
I’m sorry, I thought your paper would protect you.

 

You may have already read this in it original form.  I took the liberty of cleaning up the foul language.  I would like to thank MuseVox for showing this to me on her Stumble Upon blog.  I don’t think it needs the harsh language (including the F-bomb) to be hillarious, however, if you would like to read the original post, you can find it here:

Found Magazine – Paper Can’t Win

Found Magazine:  We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids’ homework, to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles – anything that gives a glimpse into someone else’s life. Anything goes…

For the ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS (aka Roshambo) enthusiast, this story may seem to make a mockery of your favorite game. No worries, there is hope, and support (including RPS Tournaments) out there for you. Check out this site:

World RPS Society

 

When Real Life (RL) Becomes the Distraction!

Sun setting behind our neighbors pergulaAhhhhhhhhh…. somebody stop me!!!!

As the sun starts to set behind me, the magnificent colors representing a beautiful “wish you were here” postcard, start to dance across the early summer sky.  The problem is… I’m too busy trying to figure out this whole blogging thing to even notice. 

Do you ever feel this way?  Speaking to my fellow bloggers, authors or anyone else so wrapped up in what they are working on that trips to the grocery store to fill the empty cabinets become a nuisance, a mere distraction.  The whole time I’m out milling around trying to find the right kind of dressing, the perfect head of lettuce and the best looking frozen dinner entree, I can’t seem to think about anything else but, how much time I’m losing online. 

Between choosing the right blog theme, arranging the layout of widgets, searching for the best widget, listing my blog with blog directories, registering with the best social networks, connecting with new friends, responding to comments, etc., etc. ad nauseum, not to mention joining in multiple discussions at the best place on the net for bloggers BlogCatalog, it feels like I’m never “caught up” enough to just relax. 

Oh yeah, and then there’s content.   In order to entertain, move, inspire my readers (you, and by the way, thanks for stopping by) I must continually come up with quality, original content or risk being tagged a <something significant goes here, but I haven’t had time to research this one yet>.

So, when will the merry-go-round ever stop?  It’s only been 4 weeks, since I started blogging, and I can already see my priorities have completely shifted.  The once, normally pristine backyard, has become somewhat of an overgrown jungle.   Ah, yes, I shall go and mow as soon as I’m done with this post (seems like I said that two days ago. hmm… but today will be the day!)

I sometimes wonder where the time goes.  I log on to check my email box, and suddenly there’s this time warp…

(Let’s Do The Time Warp Again!)
 
and 2 hours have passed by and I still haven’t cleaned out my inbox.   Oh, but don’t get me wrong, I love comments.  I spend the majority of my time responding to comments.  It’s what drives me, keeps me going and makes it all worth it.  I consider it an honor that you are reading my blog and I am flattered if you want to take the time to say something to me in my comments.  And, yes, look around, I publish my negative comments too.

Well, I’m off to tackle the cat’s litter boxes.  Oh, wait, I haven’t checked my Feedburner stats yet. I’ll clean their litter boxes right after I check my stats. I might as well, its way too dark to mow the lawn now anyway.