Cell Phone Secrets Revealed…er, um Buried!

Now you really can take your secrets to the grave!

iPhone.jpg image by iPhone Lovers

According the this article, Bury Me With My Cell Phone it is a growing trend to be buried with your cell phone (also known to many as an iPhone) or other electronic gadget.

“It seems that everyone under 40 who dies takes their cell phone with them,” says Noelle Potvin, family service counselor for Hollywood Forever, a funeral home and cemetery in Hollywood, Calif. “It’s a trend with BlackBerrys, too. We even had one guy who was buried with his Game Boy.”

Well, I guess that’s one way of making sure that the data on your Blackberry or iPhone goes to the grave with you.  That’s the first thing I thought of when I read this article.  Especially for people who have sensitive data on their phones.

So, instead of the McCain-Palin campaign mishap of selling a Blackberry for $20 that had peronal information and emails still inside, that Blackberry could have gone to the grave with that person (or simply been erased, but where’s the fun in that?)

According to the “Bury Me With My Cell Phone” article, appearently some people’s family members are so used to the electronic gadget being with the deceased person, that it just doesn’t seem right for them to be without it.

“I’ve even heard of cases where people are being buried with their iPod. Or one guy who was prepared for his viewing with his Bluetooth (headset) in his ear.”

It’s kind of ironic given that fact that someone so attached to their cell phone, that they have to be buried with it, may be in the grave as a result of their cell phone use, as this article seems to suggest: Cell Phone=Brain Cancer?

Maybe some people just  want to make sure that they are connected in the afterlife in the land of unlimited Twitter followers and StumbleUpon friend connections.

What about you?  How connected are you to your electronic equipment?  According to a recent aritlce, a study, conducted by Harris Interactive and sponsored by Intel, found that 46 percent of women and 30 percent of men would prefer to do without sex for 2 weeks than to not be connected to the internet for two weeks.

So, what do you think about this new trend?  Let us know your thoughts below in the comment section!

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Barack Osama? – Ooops! Was it an honest mistake?

Barack Osama?

Barack Osama?

 
According to CNN’s Political Ticker Blog, this Rensselaer County (near Albany, NY) ballot was accidentally printed with Barack Obama’s name mispelled.  Hmmm… What do you think?  Was it an honest mistake?  Was it a freudian slip? Depending on your view of things, this could be filed under extremely funny or extremely disturbing.  Let me know what you think about it in the comment section. 
 

Paper Beats Rock…Or… Does It?

 

I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get
how a rock can beat scissors, but there’s absolutely
no way, paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to
magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile?
Why, the heck, can’t paper do this to people? Why
aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper
constantly suffocating students as they take notes in
class? I’ll tell you why! Because paper can’t beat
anybody. A rock would tear that stuff up in 2
seconds. When I play rock, paper, scissors, I always
choose rock. Then, when somebody claims to have
beaten me with their paper, I can punch them in the
face with my already clenched fist and say, oops,
I’m sorry, I thought your paper would protect you.

 

You may have already read this in it original form.  I took the liberty of cleaning up the foul language.  I would like to thank MuseVox for showing this to me on her Stumble Upon blog.  I don’t think it needs the harsh language (including the F-bomb) to be hillarious, however, if you would like to read the original post, you can find it here:

Found Magazine – Paper Can’t Win

Found Magazine:  We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids’ homework, to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles – anything that gives a glimpse into someone else’s life. Anything goes…

For the ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS (aka Roshambo) enthusiast, this story may seem to make a mockery of your favorite game. No worries, there is hope, and support (including RPS Tournaments) out there for you. Check out this site:

World RPS Society

 

Humor: Adventures in Cat Land

Our new cat MieshkaI don’t know if I mentioned this or not, but we have a few cats… and now you can add one more to the mix.  Yesterday, my wife (Truthoughts) and I had just come home from some afternoon errands (woo-hoo) when we discovered the cutest little cat, almost a kitten, peeking out from behind the shrubs in our front yard. 

Well, it doesn’t take much to melt our hearts, but honestly, isn’t she a beautiful kitty?  She immediately came over and started the traditional figure-eight between our legs.  How someone could not love cats just baffles me, but needless to say, we both fell in love with her immediately… but wait?!? Hold on a minute… who’s cat is this?She was so hungry

Time for a reality check.  You can’t just take a cat in just because it wandered up to your door, right?  So, I suggested to my wife that she get some food and water to see if the kitty-cat was interested.  Well, no sooner then she brought out the little food bowl, little miss, what’s-your-name-kitty just dove right in and started chowing down the food like Tom Hanks upon catching his first fish in Cast Away.

Cats thatShe kept eating till it was gone. are well taken care of just aren’t that hungry.  They may take a nibble but they certainly don’t act like their in some intramural, university food eating contest.  This poor cat was starving.  But, still, I cautioned that maybe she was just stopping by, that we should give it some time and see if she might just mosey along back to her own home.

Four hours later, we went to the front door and opened it to see our new friend sprawled out on the porch as if she owned the place.  This is typical cat behavior as cats know,  better than humans, that they run the household.  Its because they know they can get their humans to do just about anything for them with the right look that says, “Don’t you just want to cuddle me?”  If that doesn’t work, they usually try the “I’m-going-to-flop-myself-right-down-on-top-of-whatever-you-are-working-on-because-I-want-attention-now.” approach.How cute is she?

So there she is, attached to our house as if its her refuge, her place to call home, and it only took hanging around for four hours to accomplish the task. Well, ok, IF we are going to keep her, we are going to have to give her a bath and get some flea powder because that’s one circus we don’t want coming to town.

Oh my, if you could have seen the look of terror in her eyes the moment she got the slightest drop of water on her.  I wasn’t sure if she was going to climb right up my arm and leave the type of tracks that only a cat could be proud of or grab a hold of my pant with a death grip that even the jaws of life couldn’t free.

She finally settled on hugging the faucet for dear life as I soaked her fur, causing it to cling to her petite little body like Seran wrap around Sunday’s potluck leftovers.  When we got her dried off somewhat, suddenly everything was back to normal and she started purring and wanting more attention.  I was quite relieved as I was worried that this being her introduction into our house, she was going to have some serious sStill eating!econd thoughts about wanting to call this home.

Currently she’s upstairs in the guest bath so that other cats can warm up to her and get to know her underneath the door before we allow her to roam amongst them.  So, with the addition of one more cat, that brings the total to, well, one more than we had.  🙂

If you enjoyed this story, you might like to read my other humorous story about how I was able to train our cats, which is certainly a feat in itself:

You Can Tune a Piano, But You Can’t Tuna Cat, Or Can You?

Here’s another little treat for your enjoyment from my friend known as “ThriftShopRomantic”:

The Insidious Submissive Fluffy Belly Enticement Snare- or- Pavlov’s Human

Have a wonderful day!  You’re more than welcome to stumble upon the rest of my blog. You shall certainly enjoy your time here… I guarantee it, or your money back!

 

 

 

 

When Real Life (RL) Becomes the Distraction!

Sun setting behind our neighbors pergulaAhhhhhhhhh…. somebody stop me!!!!

As the sun starts to set behind me, the magnificent colors representing a beautiful “wish you were here” postcard, start to dance across the early summer sky.  The problem is… I’m too busy trying to figure out this whole blogging thing to even notice. 

Do you ever feel this way?  Speaking to my fellow bloggers, authors or anyone else so wrapped up in what they are working on that trips to the grocery store to fill the empty cabinets become a nuisance, a mere distraction.  The whole time I’m out milling around trying to find the right kind of dressing, the perfect head of lettuce and the best looking frozen dinner entree, I can’t seem to think about anything else but, how much time I’m losing online. 

Between choosing the right blog theme, arranging the layout of widgets, searching for the best widget, listing my blog with blog directories, registering with the best social networks, connecting with new friends, responding to comments, etc., etc. ad nauseum, not to mention joining in multiple discussions at the best place on the net for bloggers BlogCatalog, it feels like I’m never “caught up” enough to just relax. 

Oh yeah, and then there’s content.   In order to entertain, move, inspire my readers (you, and by the way, thanks for stopping by) I must continually come up with quality, original content or risk being tagged a <something significant goes here, but I haven’t had time to research this one yet>.

So, when will the merry-go-round ever stop?  It’s only been 4 weeks, since I started blogging, and I can already see my priorities have completely shifted.  The once, normally pristine backyard, has become somewhat of an overgrown jungle.   Ah, yes, I shall go and mow as soon as I’m done with this post (seems like I said that two days ago. hmm… but today will be the day!)

I sometimes wonder where the time goes.  I log on to check my email box, and suddenly there’s this time warp…

(Let’s Do The Time Warp Again!)
 
and 2 hours have passed by and I still haven’t cleaned out my inbox.   Oh, but don’t get me wrong, I love comments.  I spend the majority of my time responding to comments.  It’s what drives me, keeps me going and makes it all worth it.  I consider it an honor that you are reading my blog and I am flattered if you want to take the time to say something to me in my comments.  And, yes, look around, I publish my negative comments too.

Well, I’m off to tackle the cat’s litter boxes.  Oh, wait, I haven’t checked my Feedburner stats yet. I’ll clean their litter boxes right after I check my stats. I might as well, its way too dark to mow the lawn now anyway.

 

Woman shot in head, by Pillsbury Doughboy

Pillsbury DoughboyIf I had not had heard this story directly from the woman it happened to, I would not have believed it myself.  My friend, who is originally from southern Oklahoma and used to make Reba’s dresses when Reba was still running around skinning her knees and playing with the boys, is the biggest hoot you would ever want to be around.  The way she told this story with the sweetness of her backwoods Okee from Muskogee accent was just to die for.  I will attempt to recreate the story for you here, so you will not only be more careful the next time you go shopping, but you will want to subscribe to my blog so that I may continue to entertain you in the future.

My friend, let’s call her Betty, owned a convenience store with her husband in a small town south of Tulsa, Oklahoma.  She was was headed home from the local grocery store on a sweltering, hot day in August.  Still a little edgy from being robbed at gunpoint just a week earlier, she was just driving along, minding her own business when all of the sudden, she heard a loud pop.

Immediately upon hearing the loud noise, which sounded like gunfire, she felt something hit the back of her head with incredible force.  It was enough to knock her forward and cause her to almost loose control of the car.  Fearing the worst, she pulled over to the side of the road to asses the damage.  Before she could even get to the side of the road, her head started throbbing from the gun shot.

Being that the bullet had struck her in the back of the head, she was not able to look directly at the damage to her skull, so she reached back with her left hand to feel around for any sign of blood.  The moment her hand reached the back of her head, she knew she was in serious trouble.  She could actually feel part of her brain oozing out from the back of her head.  She began to tremble as she knew that sudden death might become her if she didn’t take immediate and decisive action.

Knowing that no one was at home, and wondering how long she might have to live, she decided to turn the car around and head back into town to the emergency center.  With her left hand glued tightly to the back of the head to help slow the bleeding, her mind raced forward, as to what her husband was going to do without her.  How was he going to be able to manage the books of the store?  Afterall, she had been doing them since they opened the store more than 20 years earlier.  What was she going to tell her children?  Would she even have time to tell them anything?  How on earth would her husband be able to feed himself, much less clothe himself, as he had never once done the laundry in their nearly 45 year marriage.  Could these be the final moments before death?

Her thoughts came back to the present as she could feel part of her brain oozing between her fingers and she knew that time was short.  She decided to call the hospital ahead of time and alert them that she was coming so that they would be ready and waiting for her upon her arrival.

The next 3 minutes seemed like an eternity as she raced toward the Regional Medical Center.  She couldn’t stop herself from thinking about all of the things she wished she had done or wasn’t going to get a chance to do.  She worried about the little argument that she and her husband had been in, just that morning, because he had left his dirty cerial bowl in the sink, yet once again.  Now, it seemed so insignificant to her and she wished she could tell him how much she loved him and how much she cared about him.  He shouldn’t have to worry about all the little things because of all of the big things he had done for her over the years.  He was the most wonderful man she had ever known, and now she wasn’t sure if she was even going to see him again. 

She fought back the tears as they welled up in her eyes and made it even more difficult for her to drive.  The emergency room had recieved her call and said they would have several doctors ready and waiting when she arrrived, that she just needed to be safe and make it there as soon as possible.  How could this have happened to her?  They had felt so blessed just one week ago,  when they were robbed, that the gunmen had not even used his gun… and now this. 

As she rounded the final bend and pulled into the driveway of the hospital she could see the emergency staff ready and waiting outside the emergency room doors.  She sped up the driveway and skidded to a halt just as the medical team reached her door.  They swung the door open and tried to pry her hand away from her head.  She was unwilling to do so because she just knew that she was going to loose more of her brains and who knows how much blood. 

She finally started letting go, having been convinced that they could handle whatever was going to happen, when all of the sudden a few of them started laughing.  She couldn’t understand what could be so funny in this life and death situation.  How could these trained medical professional be laughing at a time like this?  The laughter started to grow until the point where everyone there was laughing and some were even doubled over from laughing so hard.

“Would someone please tell me what is so funny?” she asked.  The first nurse on the scene turned to her and said, “Well, you been shot alright maam…. by the Pillsbury Doughboy!”  She couldn’t believe her ears.  This was no time to joke around.  She had a gaping hole in her head and she needed medical attention immediately.  

The nurse continued, “Have you just been to the grocery store?”  “Yes, but what’s that got to do with anything?”, she snorted.  “Well, maam, it appears that your can of biscuits has burst and one of them is now stuck to the back of your head.”

As she slowly pulled her hand around and into view, she could see the dough stuck between her fingers and suddenly the whole picture became clear to her.  The heat of the day had caused the tin of biscuits to explode, which were sitting at the top of the grocery bag behind her seat, causing the sound of a gunshot.  The metal top, along with one of the biscuits, had hit her in the back of the head causing a somewhat sharp pain.  Allowing her brain to think that the sound was a gunshot, and the impact was a bullet, she naturally thought that the biscuit must have been her brains seeping out of her head.  She looked straight at me and said, “And, don’t you dare make any wisecracks about my brains seeping out of my head.”.  What?  I hadn’t said a word.  I couldn’t, I was rolling on the floor laughing about the whole thing, just picturing all of those hospital workers willing and able to help her out, only to find out who the real suspect was; that silly little Pilsbury Do Boy.

Needless to say, she’s a favorite around town now.  The story has not only been retold over and over again there in her hometown, but Jay Leno and some other TV talk show hosts, picked up on the story and now it has become somewhat of an urban legend.  My wife (Truthoughts) said she had heard this story, long before we ever met (six years ago).  So, now you know.  It’s true and now Betty has a much greater apprecation for life and certainly another story to tell at dinner parties.  I hope you enjoyed this story.  Leave me a comment to let me know or a link to your favorite humorous story.  Thanks!

A Poem for my Beautiful Wife… I love you!

You, my love, are beautiful,
Astounding beyond compare,
You’ve captivated my entire heart,
just by standing there.

You’re so tiny and petite,
Wrapped up in a little bow.
Your smile’s so bright and happy,
Giving you a warming glow.

You make me laugh so hard,
with your humor and your witt.
I keep on laughing, crying,
until my sides have split.

There’s so much I want to say,
that words can not convey.
You see my faults are many,
and love me anyway.

What gentleness I’ve found in you,
That moves me to the core.
Your love for cats is genuine,
for no one loves them more.

You love the Almighty God,
with all your heart and soul.
Pleasing Him in all you do,
Is your only goal.

The very thought of you,
Moves me me strongly still.
I’ve been with you these 6 years,
And have yet to get my fill.

Wanting you more and more each day,
That comes with rising sun.
Makes me feel as if our love,
Has barely just begun.

So as we wait here for the Lord,
To come and take us home,
We have each others love to share,
Until He says, Shalom!

Love,
Your Husband