You know the economy is bad when…

This is so funny… my wife Alison “Truthoughts” has a friend from Jr.High/Highschool, on Facebook, that has a great sense of humor.  He posted this hilarious pic on his Facebook account.  You can find Bryan Turner on Facebook by clicking his name.

recession effects

Funny Pic: Speed Monks (SFW)

Speed Monks

Speed Monks

Paper Beats Rock…Or… Does It?

 

I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get
how a rock can beat scissors, but there’s absolutely
no way, paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to
magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile?
Why, the heck, can’t paper do this to people? Why
aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper
constantly suffocating students as they take notes in
class? I’ll tell you why! Because paper can’t beat
anybody. A rock would tear that stuff up in 2
seconds. When I play rock, paper, scissors, I always
choose rock. Then, when somebody claims to have
beaten me with their paper, I can punch them in the
face with my already clenched fist and say, oops,
I’m sorry, I thought your paper would protect you.

 

You may have already read this in it original form.  I took the liberty of cleaning up the foul language.  I would like to thank MuseVox for showing this to me on her Stumble Upon blog.  I don’t think it needs the harsh language (including the F-bomb) to be hillarious, however, if you would like to read the original post, you can find it here:

Found Magazine – Paper Can’t Win

Found Magazine:  We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids’ homework, to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles – anything that gives a glimpse into someone else’s life. Anything goes…

For the ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS (aka Roshambo) enthusiast, this story may seem to make a mockery of your favorite game. No worries, there is hope, and support (including RPS Tournaments) out there for you. Check out this site:

World RPS Society

 

Funny Pic: Don’t Taze My Bro!

Don’t Taze Me Bro!

Welcome!  If you are a Stumble Upon user and you think this picture is funny, click the thumbs up  button in your web browser.  Thanks! Enjoy the laugh… I sure did.

Don't Taze Me Bro

Don't Taze Me Bro!

This just cracked me up this morning. I was driving down 75 Southbound (just north of Dallas, Texas) when I snapped this pic with my cell phone.  If you haven’t seen the video that this references, you can watch it here:  Don’t Taze Me Bro!

Funny Cat Pic – Bertoli Ad

Do you think I could get Bertoli to pay me for this?

Give me some of that Bertolit

Meagan playing with the TV while watching a Bertoli ad.  Hillarious cat pic!  It just makes you want to Stumble it doesn’t it?  Oh my, she’s adorable.  Thanks for coming by!

1 Aerosol Hairspray Can + 1 Lighter = 1 Less Eyebrow

Example of Aerosol CanThis has got to be one of the funniest stories you will ever read.  Picturing the events in my head, which I am about to reveal, causes me to start laughing all over again.  Oh my gosh!  I can’t wait to relate this story to you. 

Ok, if you’ve never tried this before, please don’t say that you read it on my blog, because I will flat out deny it.  If you spray a can of aerosol hairspray slightly above the flame of a lighter, you will instantly have your very own, and might I add, very dangerous flame thrower (do not try this at home).  I think you gathered from the title of this article where this is headed, but the way it happened is almost one of those, you wouldn’t believe it unless you saw it kind of stories.

So, let’s set the scene.  I’m in college, the same one my brother is attending, the same college where  I got away with The Best Practical Joke I Ever Played.  It’s after 11:00 pm at night and I had been over at his apartment visiting.  I had gotten to know his roommates really well by this time, so I didn’t think it strange to be hanging around after he went to bed.  My brother’s roommate, Kevin and I found one of those huge aerosol hair spray cans, the kind that are forbidden now as carry-ons as they can be considered a terrorist weapon.The Lighter

We started messing around with the usual, light the lighter and spray flames half-way across the room.  We took it into the bedroom where now 2 of my brother’s other roommates had already retired for the night.  Apparently, one of them had fallen completely asleep, because when we sprayed the can over the lighter in his direction, he woke up to massive flames licking at his face.  Needless to say, he was extremely horrified, whoops!  But… nothing happened to him, the flames weren’t even close, they just appeared close because he woke up to them coming his direction.   So, the story continues…

Kevin and I, realizing that no one in that room was in the mood for fun decided to take our “amusement in a can” elsewhere.  We went outside through the sliding glass door and started spraying hairspray on the large glass pane of the door.  We would spray it and then light it.  Very cool display of lingering flames that would dance around the window, but you didn’t learn that one from me either.

Now, this is where the story gets interesting and then very entertaining, to me anyway, since I’m not the one who lost the eyebrow.  So, Kevin and I find a large gallon sized glass bottle.  Some people would refer to it as a jug due to the large body with a rather small neck.  This particular type of bottle works extremely well for this nGallon sized glass jugext trick professional demonstration. 

We sprayed the hairspray into the bottle and then lit the fumes coming out of the bottle.  The ensuing display of pyrotechnics is something I’ll never forget.  Apparently, the fumes are more flammable than the liquid itself.  So… lighting the hairspray fumes causes a sort of jet engine type propulsion of flames accompanied by the sound of a mighty rushing wind.  And, the more you spray in the bottle before you light it, the higher the flames go.  Boy, were we having fun!  I figure I need a disclaimer about now…

Disclaimer:  Do not attempt any of these stunts!

Now, believe it or not, both Kevin and I, using extreme caution,  managed to survive the night without loosing an eyebrow.  So, you are wondering who did?  Ok, the next day, I was at Cheerleader practice (yes, they call the males yell leaders – you can read more about my awesome experience here – My Story) and all of the sudden I see Kevin come riding up on his motorcycle.  He is laughing so hard, he can barely control the bike.  He literally has tears in his eyes when he pulls up and says, “Get on, Get on… you have to come see this!”  I have no idea what he is talking about, and he is laughing so hard that he can’t even get any words out except, “You, ha, ha, ha, have, ha, ha, ha, to, ha, see this, ah, hah, ha, ha, hah!”  By the time he got that out, we had arrived at the apartment. 

I walked up to the large sliding glass window to see my brother, sheepishly approaching from the inside.  One of his eyebrows, along with all of his lashes, were completely missing and the front half of his hair was singed so badly that when he touched it, it simply crumpled into pieces and floated to the floor.  Oh, my gosh!  Kevin, upon seeing my brother’s smirk, instantly falls on the ground laughing… it’s infectious, because, now, I could not hold back my laughter either and joined Kevin on the ground laughing so hard, I thought I was going to relieve myself on the spot.

After 5 minutes or so, of side-splitting laughter, we were soon joined by my brother himself.  We realized we had drawn somewhat of a crowd.  You’d stop too, to find out what is so funny, if you saw 3 college aged males rolling on the ground laughing their heads off.  Wiping the tears away from our eyes, we sat up, only to look at my brother’s face one more time and head straight back into another round of laughter.  They say, laughter is good for the soul.  I agree… it’s also a serious work-out. 

Apparently, Kevin had told my brother about our little escapade the night before and my brother wanted to try it for himself.  Having already told my brother that the more you spray, the farther up the flames shoot, my brother is determined to find out the hard way.  While he proceeds to empty the last half of the can into the bottle, Kevin tried to warn him, again, that he should back up and approach the situation from the side.  But, my stubborn brother, doesn’t listen and decides to watch the display from directly over top of the bottle.  I don’t think he even got the lighter very close to the bottle before the flames erupted and shot straight up, engulfing the left half of his head in flames.  Fortunately, due to his quick reaction, all he lost was an eyebrow, his eyelashes and some hair on his head.

I look back now, at the silliness of our youth, and wonder sometimes how we ever made through life alive.  I thank God daily that I am still alive and I count my blessings, everyday, that I never killed myself, or somebody else,  with some of the stupid stunts that I pulled.  I hope you enjoyed the story and have learned that this is not something that should be repeated.  Let my brother be the example, had that bottle exploded, one of us could have been seriously injured, or killed.  Oh, the things we don’t think of as young, bull-headed males.