Paper Beats Rock…Or… Does It?

 

I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get
how a rock can beat scissors, but there’s absolutely
no way, paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to
magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile?
Why, the heck, can’t paper do this to people? Why
aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper
constantly suffocating students as they take notes in
class? I’ll tell you why! Because paper can’t beat
anybody. A rock would tear that stuff up in 2
seconds. When I play rock, paper, scissors, I always
choose rock. Then, when somebody claims to have
beaten me with their paper, I can punch them in the
face with my already clenched fist and say, oops,
I’m sorry, I thought your paper would protect you.

 

You may have already read this in it original form.  I took the liberty of cleaning up the foul language.  I would like to thank MuseVox for showing this to me on her Stumble Upon blog.  I don’t think it needs the harsh language (including the F-bomb) to be hillarious, however, if you would like to read the original post, you can find it here:

Found Magazine – Paper Can’t Win

Found Magazine:  We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids’ homework, to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles – anything that gives a glimpse into someone else’s life. Anything goes…

For the ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS (aka Roshambo) enthusiast, this story may seem to make a mockery of your favorite game. No worries, there is hope, and support (including RPS Tournaments) out there for you. Check out this site:

World RPS Society

 

A Poem for my Beautiful Wife… I love you!

You, my love, are beautiful,
Astounding beyond compare,
You’ve captivated my entire heart,
just by standing there.

You’re so tiny and petite,
Wrapped up in a little bow.
Your smile’s so bright and happy,
Giving you a warming glow.

You make me laugh so hard,
with your humor and your witt.
I keep on laughing, crying,
until my sides have split.

There’s so much I want to say,
that words can not convey.
You see my faults are many,
and love me anyway.

What gentleness I’ve found in you,
That moves me to the core.
Your love for cats is genuine,
for no one loves them more.

You love the Almighty God,
with all your heart and soul.
Pleasing Him in all you do,
Is your only goal.

The very thought of you,
Moves me me strongly still.
I’ve been with you these 6 years,
And have yet to get my fill.

Wanting you more and more each day,
That comes with rising sun.
Makes me feel as if our love,
Has barely just begun.

So as we wait here for the Lord,
To come and take us home,
We have each others love to share,
Until He says, Shalom!

Love,
Your Husband