The Funniest Tweets I’ve Seen on Twitter – So far!

twitter_logoAs some of you know, I recently started spending a lot more time on Twitter.  Twitter has really transformed itself over the past 2-3 months.  If you haven’t been on Twitter in a while, you should check it out.

HINT:  If you want more followers – FOLLOW MORE PEOPLE!

More on that here: It’s Not Your Daughter’s Twitter Anymore!

BTW:  If we are not already friends on StumbleUpon come join my network and I’ll help promote your website or blog.  And if you are on Twitter than follow me here.

Listed below are just some (hard to catch them all without remaining on Twitter 24/7) of the funny Tweets that I have seen over the past couple of weeks.  If you know of others, please leave them in the comments section and I will add them to the list, with a link to your Twitter account or website as my thanks for your contribution.

BTW:  You should follow the people listed below here… they’re funny!That's Funny

@shmoozanne74: “i’m so tired we may end up eating Captain Crunch stuffing and mashed bananas” – hey, don’t knock the Cap’n.

@rinkjustice I refuse to follow anyone with a Twitter name like “gkjg,nlhjhg”. Jus’ sayin.

@JackBastide How do you keep a Tweeter in suspense? … I’ll tell you tomorrow

@MarkClayson Darn it! Used “charm” twice.

@MarkClayson Night’s curtain falls and charms my wavering consciousness. ‘Tis time to greet the charm of dreams. Goodnight my friends.

@JackBastide There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.

@eduinnovation I have glitter on my hands and on my face from Christmas ornaments. How do the elves and Santa handle this. Must have some Santa Shop secret

@Mobasoft I could collect 500 gallons of rainwater in a 1/2 inch rain. Enough to flush the toilet 147 times. But I live in a “Modern House” – pfffft.

@JackBastide I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

@NatalieGrant: Twittering is dangerous. I was reading my tweets and wasn’t watching where I was walking & ran into a pole.

@BrianCarter @lifeofjenn lol some people might tell you Twitter is a second chance to be “cool in school”. Love Ben Folds.

(Zebra Photo Courtesy of: LaDonna_62 )

FROM THE COMMENTS SECTION: (Thank you for your contribution)

Jaffer writes:
I usually favourite hilarious and memorable Tweets by my own friends. Here are a few gems:
@katize: hahahaha!! We can hear the neighbors having sex…damn!! they are so loud!!

@ithinkdancan: @TonyBerkman your fly is down

@maniar Feeling Stupid – Bought a Sara Lee Pumpkin Pie. Thought it was ready to eat. Didn’t read instructions. Sunk teeth right into dough ! P

@jugglingfrogs Gretta (4) stubbed her toe & kissed it herself.Then kissed it again & again. “I’m kissing my toe lots of times so it won’t hurt next time.”

@goldiekatsu Just read “Oneal Pkwy” as “Oatmeal Pkwy”. Still giggling.

@offendedblogger Dreamed I was doing community service, picking up trash on a mountainside in Yellowstone last night, wtf sort of dream is that?!

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Truthoughts writes:

Here’s one:

@rickosborne Those who collect followers by the yard and follow by the inch should B kicked by the foot. : )

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