Humor: Adventures in Cat Land – Part 2

Have you ever tried to train a cat?  Impossible?  Maybe, but we seemed to have succeedKody relaxing in the chair in a couple of areas.   My wife (Truthoughts) and I have a problem child for a cat.  His name is Kody.  Here you see him sitting so innocently in the big chair.  He is so cuddly and adorable and loves sleeping on our laps.  But, don’t let him fool you.  He terrorizes our other cat Kiera (black and white, tuxedo cat on the side bar – Flickr pics).  Fortunately not all of the time, but every once in a while, he corners her and a passionate cat fight ensues.

We are the kind of parents who will not tolerate this kind of behavior, so we punish him by scolding him and placing him in the Pet Taxi (cat carrier) for a time out.   Sometimes he just gets too close to her and they start hissing at each other.   Often Kiera will get so spooked that she will head up stairs for safety under the guest bed.

Kody serving a \However, her turning and running just excites Kody all the more and a mad dash ensues with hissing and panting and claws ripping through the carpet that only cat owners know the sound of.

Whenever he does this, I catch him and place him in solitary confinement in what I explain to Kody as “CAGE!”.  I repeatedly scold him with the word “CAGE” – “CAGE, KODY, CAGE”.  Then I lock him in for his, what-has-become-a, routine timeout.

Here is the part that just cracks my wife and I up.  We have administered this punishment with Kody for so long now that all I have to do is yell, “CAGE” and Kody now knows what this means, so he will walk over and put himself in the cage.  It makes it hard to punish him when he’s being so cute, protesting with apologies the entire way.   

Now, for the ultimate in funny.  The other day, Kody walked over to his daughter Molly (who is now old enough to go into heat) and started to bite her neck and stand on top of her (don’t worry, we got him fixed, so there will be no more babies for this stud).  We never said a word to him, because we understand in the animal kingdom, incest, doesn’t seem to be a social oddity like it is with humans.  However, he must have felt guilty about it or something, because without any prompting on our part at all, he got off of her and walked over and put himself in the cage, protesting the whole way.  It sort of makes you wonder… “what was he thinking?”  I’m not sure, but it certainly gave us a good laugh! 

For another hilarious story on training cats, see this post of mine:

You Can Tune a Piano, But You Can’t Tuna Cat…or Can You?  

Thanks for coming by, be sure to read the comments for the experiences of other readers.

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The Best Practical Joke I Ever Played

This is one of the funniest (and kind of mean-*cringe*) pratical jokes I have ever played on someone.  In order to set the scene, you have to understand that my Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (see this link for a list of Blogs – with links – categorized by the authors MBTI) states that I am an ESFP.  This tells you right up front, what type of personality I am to pull off such a prank.

Knowing from my personality type that I’m usually the last one to leave the party, or the conversation, and I’m also a night owl, it wouldn’t be too hard for you to understand that when I was in college, I would routinely return to my dorm room, to get a couple hours of sleep, around 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning.

On this particular night, or should I say morning, I came back to my room to find my roommate, Don, sound asleep.  No surprise there.  We barely saw each other due to the fact that he was always asleep when I came in and he aWhat time is it?lways left in the morning before I would regain consciousness.

I decided to turn his alarm clock forward so that he would think it was around 8:00 am instead of 2:00 am.  Once I manipulated his clock I then recruited the help of my willing cohort, Steve, who had just been hanging out with me in the lobby a few minutes earlier. 

I turned the light on, and took my shirt off, so that I could be putting it on as I woke my roommate to ask him if he was going to go to class that day.  He couldn’t believe that he had slept in.  What happened to his alarm clock he wondered.  I could tell be the way he was examining it closely, he was wondering why his alarm had failed him.

Just then, my hired help, Steve, came walking down the hall and poked his head in our room and asked if I was going to breakfast.   I think this was the probably the key factor that caused my roommate (who at this point was worried he was going to be late for class) to jump out of bed and grab his shampoo and towel and head straight down the hall to the showers.

My partner in crime and I couldn’t believe it.  He actually bought it hook, line and sinker.  We were laughing so hard that we had to run down the hall to the other restroom for fear that my roommate would hear us.  OK, so now what.  Don is in the shower.  It wouldn’t be long before he comes back to the room and there we would be guilty as charged.

However, I decided that the best way to handle the situation was to return his clock to the actual position of 2:06 am, turn off the light and hop into my bed.  I had said goodbye to Steve and told him I would fill him in on the details the next day. 

Sure enough, within a few minutes, my roommate returned from the shower.  He opened the door and flipped the light on.  No quicker had he turned the light on, when he flipped it off.  It was the only kind thing to do, since afterall, I was asleep in bed, or so he thought.

Once the light was off, I was able to open my eyes and see what he was up to.  He must have sat there in the dark and stared at his alarm clock for a good 3-4 minutes.  I’m sure that he wondering what had just happened to him.  I didn’t say a word, and he didn’t ask me anything.  He simply took his school clothes off, and crawled back in to bed.

I laid there waiting for the question.  I couldn’t imagine that he wasn’t the least bit curious.  My mind started to wander.   Hmmmm… maybe he was plotting his revenge.  Oh, no, what had I done.   Was I going to, now, have to live in fear that the other shoe was going to drop at any moment.  My mind continued to wander and it wasn’t long before I thought myself to sleep, not realizing that I had even fallen asleep until I aroused the next morning.

Upon regaining my awareness to my surroundings, I look around the room to see if he had set any traps for me.  Hmmm… nothing out of the ordinary.  Was he waiting outside the door?  I slowly opened the door and peeked around the corner.  The hall was empty and all I could her was a couple of buddies chatting it up around the corner.  Don, was no where to be found.Breakfast with Friends

Confused, I jumped in the shower, purposefully checking to make sure that it was shampoo in the bottle and not Nair.  Everything seemed to be perfectly fine.  I arrived at the cafeteria and with normal reckless abandon grabbed a plateful of the most appetizing things available, which usually ended up being a bowl of cereal and some toast or toasted waffles. 

I found a table of some friends and preceeded to tell them what had happened the night before when they all started laughing hysterically.  Now, I thought it funny myself, but not to deserve this reaction.  Curious, I asked, what it was that was so funny.  One of them spoke up and said, “Don, was just here and told us he had a dream last night that it was time to get up and it seemed so real to him that he actually got up and took a shower.  He said it must have been a dream, because when he got back to the room, it was actually just after 2:00 in the morning and his roomate was still asleep in bed.”

Suddenly it became clear to me, why there had been no revenge plotted.  He didn’t even realize that I had done anything.  Oh, my gosh!  I couldn’t believe it!  Well, I eventually caught up with Don, as I now felt bad and wanted him to hear the truth from me, rather than hearing it from someone else making it look like I had been bragging about it all over campus, although I had.  I couldn’t believe it when I told him what I had done, he actually started laughing himself.  He thought it was hillarious and couldn’t believe I had thought of that.  He said he wasn’t upset at all… or was he?

 

** I must give Wendy Friedrich credit for jogging my memory of this great prank.  She started a great discussion thread on BlogCatalog about “Practical Jokes”.  Thanks Wendy!

A Redneck’s Guide to Success!

Get ready for a good laugh – This set of rules for a Redneck’s success will be certain to be uplifting and humorous. My wife (Truthoughts) and myself (OutsideMyBrain) put these together. Enjoy! You may copy this post in it’s entirety, as long as you keep the copyright symbol and the link to this post embedded on your website.

A REDNECKS GUIDE TO SUCCESS!

80% of success is just showing up…with a six-pack.

If you help enough other people get what they want, you’ll automatically have more people to call when you need to bail your mamma out of jail for getting into a brawl at the Piggly Wiggly.

There is nothing to fear, except having no beer.

Tough times never last, but tough rednecks do.

Two men look out the same prison bars, one sees mud,
and the other sees the truck.

The whole world steps aside for the redneck on a beer run.

We owe a lot to Jeff Foxworthy, if it weren’t for him, we’d still be called hillbillies.

Think, and grow a mullet.

Success is a state of mind. If you want to be successful, start thinking of yourself
as one of the Dukes of Hazzard.

While some people are dreaming about success –
rednecks stay up… and have a beer.

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail of mud.

Progress always involves risk… you can’t steal your neighbors beer
with both hands on his sister.

Defeat is not the worst of failures.
Not to have tried (to outrun the Sheriff) is the true failure.

What would you attempt to do if you knew
that it would only cost a nickel?

The mind is like a beer can, it only works when it is open.

What lies before us, and what lies behind us are tiny matters when compared to
what lies on blocks in our backyard.

Nothing is so powerful as a redneck whose time has come.

Shoot for the moon…
even if you miss, you’re bound to hit a deer.

The past is history, the future is a mystery, today is a gift that’s why they call it…
ah, just get another beer!

Few rednecks have the strength to honor a friend’s success
without envy toward his truck.

There is no try… there’s only Git’r’dun or don’t!

 

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