10 Signs You’ve Become a Twitter Whore!

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While building up my favorite Tweets list for the next installment of “The Funniest Tweets I’ve Seen on Twitter“, it just hit me that there are certain activities that are taking place on Twitter in the biggest “follower grab” in the history of the internet.  Reminiscent of the Oklamhoma land grab or the California Gold Rush, there seems to be a “mad dash” to grab as many Twitter followers as you can, as fast as you can.

If you haven’t gotten caught up in the excitement, I had better warn you that it is quite addicting.  As I created this list, funny how it came to me so easily… hmmm… I realized that I myself am guilty of a few of these tell tale signs.  So, sit back and enjoy the laugh and know that if you can associate with one or more of these, you are in good company!

Here are 10 sure-fire signs you’ve become a Twitter whore:

10.  Your Tweets have more than two hash tags: #HappyO9, #TCOT, #bedtimestories, #blacklabs that don’t seem to be related.

9.  You get a really nice DM repsonse back, but you have no clue what they are talking about, because you can’t link back to your original DM.

8.  You check Twitter Grader more than once a day.

7.  You get upset when less than 300 people have followed you… in just one day!

6.  You stay up later than you should, just to follow a “few” more Tweeters, oh and that one too, just one more, ah, now there’s a good one…wait, I see another.

5.  You unfollow people, just to follow them back so that your Twitter icon is catapulted to the beginning of their follower list, thereby giving you more exposure. Cha-ching!

4.  You’ve resigned yourself to Auto-follow with a spammy DM message!

3.  When someone following 300 people, or less, follows you there entire home page fills up with just your Tweets.

2.  You’ve given up going to people’s profiles before you follow them as long as they have a decent picture.

1.  You follow them even if they have a scary picture!

 

Thanks for stopping by, and by all means, if your not following me on Twitter yet, you can do so here: @OutsideMyBrain

BTW have you seen this funny video:  Twitter Whore with Lisa Nova

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Can you think of any that I missed?  Leave yours in the comments!

The Funniest Tweets I’ve Seen on Twitter – So far!

twitter_logoAs some of you know, I recently started spending a lot more time on Twitter.  Twitter has really transformed itself over the past 2-3 months.  If you haven’t been on Twitter in a while, you should check it out.

HINT:  If you want more followers – FOLLOW MORE PEOPLE!

More on that here: It’s Not Your Daughter’s Twitter Anymore!

BTW:  If we are not already friends on StumbleUpon come join my network and I’ll help promote your website or blog.  And if you are on Twitter than follow me here.

Listed below are just some (hard to catch them all without remaining on Twitter 24/7) of the funny Tweets that I have seen over the past couple of weeks.  If you know of others, please leave them in the comments section and I will add them to the list, with a link to your Twitter account or website as my thanks for your contribution.

BTW:  You should follow the people listed below here… they’re funny!That's Funny

@shmoozanne74: “i’m so tired we may end up eating Captain Crunch stuffing and mashed bananas” – hey, don’t knock the Cap’n.

@rinkjustice I refuse to follow anyone with a Twitter name like “gkjg,nlhjhg”. Jus’ sayin.

@JackBastide How do you keep a Tweeter in suspense? … I’ll tell you tomorrow

@MarkClayson Darn it! Used “charm” twice.

@MarkClayson Night’s curtain falls and charms my wavering consciousness. ‘Tis time to greet the charm of dreams. Goodnight my friends.

@JackBastide There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.

@eduinnovation I have glitter on my hands and on my face from Christmas ornaments. How do the elves and Santa handle this. Must have some Santa Shop secret

@Mobasoft I could collect 500 gallons of rainwater in a 1/2 inch rain. Enough to flush the toilet 147 times. But I live in a “Modern House” – pfffft.

@JackBastide I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

@NatalieGrant: Twittering is dangerous. I was reading my tweets and wasn’t watching where I was walking & ran into a pole.

@BrianCarter @lifeofjenn lol some people might tell you Twitter is a second chance to be “cool in school”. Love Ben Folds.

(Zebra Photo Courtesy of: LaDonna_62 )

FROM THE COMMENTS SECTION: (Thank you for your contribution)

Jaffer writes:
I usually favourite hilarious and memorable Tweets by my own friends. Here are a few gems:
@katize: hahahaha!! We can hear the neighbors having sex…damn!! they are so loud!!

@ithinkdancan: @TonyBerkman your fly is down

@maniar Feeling Stupid – Bought a Sara Lee Pumpkin Pie. Thought it was ready to eat. Didn’t read instructions. Sunk teeth right into dough ! P

@jugglingfrogs Gretta (4) stubbed her toe & kissed it herself.Then kissed it again & again. “I’m kissing my toe lots of times so it won’t hurt next time.”

@goldiekatsu Just read “Oneal Pkwy” as “Oatmeal Pkwy”. Still giggling.

@offendedblogger Dreamed I was doing community service, picking up trash on a mountainside in Yellowstone last night, wtf sort of dream is that?!

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Truthoughts writes:

Here’s one:

@rickosborne Those who collect followers by the yard and follow by the inch should B kicked by the foot. : )

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